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Welcome to 339 Breckinridge House, Home of the Corn

Welcome to the widely popular tribute to the life and times of Room 339...well, at least during Uma and Cami's stay there. It is now the summer after that fateful school year, and Uma and Cami will soon be off to other rooms. Both would like to apologize for the lack of updating to this page during the majority of the busy school year, thus depriving you, gentle reader, of the joy of reading about such world-shattering crises as the Window Incidents, the Blown Fuse Crisis, the Easter Island Head Fiasco, the Centipede, and other such tales of trauma and heroism. This page remains as a tribute to those experiences which made Room 339 what it was to Uma, Cami, and all those who shared in their presence. Thank you. 6-19-98


Week 1. Cami and Uma are just sitting around, studying, listening to music, talking, whatever. Suddenly, some kind of flying insect is hanging around Cami's desk!!! Uma quickly grabbed her trusty long foam keyboard-wrist-resting thing and attacked! Alas, the flying thing got away. All was well....then, suddenly, the insect reappeared near Cami's desk! Uma again leaped to the scene with the foam thing, but to no avail. It once again escaped. Quiet resumed. Cami felt an urge to drink Man-Oh-Mangoberry KoolAid. She took the packet from its place on her bulletin board and went to the second floor to invite her KoolAid buddy, Mike, to come to the kitchen to whip up the drink with her. Mike and Cami made the KoolAid, and it was good. Cami poured herself a really huge glass of it. It was the free glass she got during O-Week from the guy that swipes your card at Woodward Court. Mike returned to his room and probably his cello, and Cami took her huge-ass glass of KoolAid back to her room and set it on her desk near the CD tower and went back to whatever she was doing. Then, the flying insect reappeared in front of the CD tower! Uma raced to the rescue! The KoolAid glass crashed onto the desk with a whirl of sticky pink liquid and ran all over everything! Alas, the insect once again got away, and was never seen again. It's probably dead and rotting somewhere in Room 339 as you read this tale. After a good portion of Cami's desk had turned pink, Uma ran for a big stack of completely non-absorbent paper towels from the restroom of Breckinridge. Uma and Cami frantically salvaged what they could, but the non-absorbent paper towels allowed the KoolAid to leave its mark on the desk of Room 339...a large pink stain is still there today, a testament to the insect, the foam thing, and bad KoolAid placement everywhere. Watch your KoolAid.


Week 2. 'Twas a beautiful afternoon in Hyde Park. The sun's rays shone onto the windowsill of Breckinridge 339 as Uma and Nicole sat and chatted. Cami entered the room after a long day of class, class, food, class, errands, and job. Upon entering she was pleased to find that Mike, her Cookie buddy, had left her a BIG pile of chocolate-chip cookies that he smuggled out of Woodward! Cami had just eaten some food at work, so she only ate one of the cookies. The cookie was very good, so she decided to soon eat some of the others as well. She wanted the chocolate chips to be a little melty, so she set the cookies in the sunlight on the windowsill, then went to get a drink of water. Well, Cami got pretty sidetracked. First she stopped by Mike's room to say thank you for the cookies, but he wasn't home. Then she stopped by Andy's room to ask him how his tutorial went today, because he teaches a Math 100 tutorial. Well, she ended up talking to Andy for a pretty long time. At 5:40 or so, The Other Andy and Laura invited Cami and Andy to eat at the Florian, so they did. After they ate at the Florian, the four of them plus Mary Upton (who they found on the street) went up to the roof of Ryerson to look at Jupiter, the Moon, and Saturn through the telescope. They also saw Mir go overhead. It was fun, but when Cami returned to her dorm room, it had been four and a half hours since she was last there and she, as well as everyone else, had forgotten the poor cookies. Cami was really tired and she crashed onto her bed when she returned, refusing to move. She chatted with Jennifer and Uma. Uma mentioned that she was hungry, and Cami remembered the cookies! So she told Uma to get a cookie off the windowsill. "Cookie!" exclaimed Uma, catching the Cookie Fever that Cami and Mike pull off so well. When she arrived at the windowsill, however, Uma froze in horror! There were ANTS all over the cookies! Uma retreated rapidly to her bed in the opposite corner of the room, her fear of ants becoming apparent. She cried for Cami to remedy the situation, and Cami approached the windowsill reluctantly, with Jennifer at her side. The ants grossed them out more than they expected, and the two found they could not bear to deal with the ant removal alone. Suddenly, the phone rang in the midst of the crisis! It was Andy. He didn't understand the urgency of the situation in Room 339, and Cami was almost forced to hang up on him. Cami and Jennifer returned to the cookie scene. A couple of halfhearted efforts, but no progress. Cami called Andy and asked him to please come help them with the Crisis. He didn't believe in it, but agreed to come to Room 339 and rescue the residents and their visitor if Cami agreed to come down to visit. Andy bravely removed the ants from the room, or at least removed the cookies and a large portion of the ants. Cami and Jennifer attempted to drown the remaining ants by pouring water into the windowsill. When things seemed calm, Cami left to Andy's and all was well for a bit. After a couple of hours, Cami returned to Room 339 only to find that many more ants were still alive and roaming the landscape of the windowsill! Uma advised a quick remedy to kill the ants: Spray Deodorant. Cami grabbed her newfound weapon, shook well before use, and sprayed the ant groups with the deodorant. They were stunned but not killed. Ants staggered drunkenly everywhere. Uma and Cami decided to drown the ants while they were down! Cami went to the bathroom and filled up a BIG glass with steamy hot water. It was the glass that she got during O-Week from the guy who swipes your card at Woodward Court. She poured the water over the remaining ants until all seemed nearly motionless, then wiped up the mess. All was again well. Tomorrow? We shall see.


Author's Note: It was debated for a time whether this particular situation was eligible for the title "Crisis in Room 339" because Uma was not present at the time of the events. However, after much debate and Uma's consent, it has been decided that this event, due to its impact on a symbol of much importance to all who pass through Room 339, is indeed worthy of the title CRISIS.

Late one weekday afternoon, Cami sat on her bed, among the hills and valleys of the beautiful Cloud Blankie. She was quite comfortable there, reading an article for her environmental studies class and noting important points in the margins with her green pen. Mike came by to visit, bringing the usual cookies, and sat for a while to talk. Cami, a bit too relaxed and comfortable in her position, let her hand, holding the green pen, with its open cap, fall to the Blankie as she talked and browsed the article. After some time, she finally realized the dreadful harm her green pen had begun to cause the sacred Cloud Blankie! A dark green circle had crept over the white cloth cover of the Cloud. Horrified, Cami drew back her hand and gasped. "Mike! Oh no! Look what HAPPENED!!" Mike gazed upon the spot, equally terror-stricken. "Oh no! What are we going to do? Andy's [rightful owner of the famed deity] going to be mad..." Cami retreated far from the Cloud Blankie, as though it would help make the stain go away if its perpetrator distanced herself. The idea of bleaching popped into someone's mind...but Cami was unsure. How much does one dilute bleach to make it okay, but still able to annihilate green ink? Neither could think of the answer in their panic state so Cami, using unknown logic, decided to call Laura and ask for her assistance. Laura rushed to the scene and decided it would probably be okay if we put the bleach right on the Cloud. Cami and Mike were ready to go along with any solution, and as the ink set, time was of the essence. Cami grabbed a pink-and-white-striped towel from her closet and Mike took bleach directly from the room of the Cloud Blankie's owner, Andy Kim, since he was the only one we knew who owned any. Andy was not home so fortunately no time-consuming explanations were necessary. Laura began to fight the stain with these two tools. Her boyfriend Andy Huntwork came along as well, and, noting a small tear in the Blankie's cover, a scar from earlier times, and joked that we could just cut the hole bigger, getting rid of the green stain so that Andy would never notice it. It was a sad clue of things to come. Laura, after a time and much praising from the onlooking Mike, eliminated the stain. We thought all was well, even though all of Room 339 reeked of bleach. Everyone returned to their respective lives. Later that day, the story travelled around among the visitors and inhabitants of Room 339, including Andy Kim, who was not at all upset. He removed the cover from the Cloud Blankie and washed it...unfortunately, he must have used bleach again. When the Cloud Blankie emerged from its cleaning, a very large HOLE had formed near the smaller, earlier hole noticed by Andy Huntwork!! While the many worshippers of the Cloud were quite distraught, Andy Kim was not fazed, nonchalantly mentioning something about needing a new cover. The Blankie returned to it's usual residence on Cami's bed, where it withstood Cami's odd movements in her sleep and being sat upon and deeply admired by many cases, even fought over in moments of hyper homework-avoidance. The hole only worsened. One day, Jennifer volunteered her sewing skills to the renovation of our cherished Cloud. She did an excellent job with what was left, but the fabric was too weak and, while the stitching held wonderfully, the blankie continued to unravel near the old hole site. This is how it stands today, and the fate of the Cloud Blankie's cover is, as of yet, unknown.